I'm Here (Raises Hand from Back of Room)
I am so drained. I’m sorry for not responding earlier, but I’m so I don’t know, everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
DH and I went to long-awaited, highly anticipated appointment on Monday. The first appointment is full of scary questions about your family medical history. My comment about two cousins with heart disease plus DH’s niece with Spina Bifida was enough to scare them and put us in “high risk” category.
After all the tests, we excuse DH and do the exam. The nurse was unsuccessful at detecting the heartbeat. This was extremely disappointing. I’m so full of mixed emotions and feel no closer to validation.
I am still having very little to no symptoms (perhaps phantom) coupled with the no heart beat and the “high risk” is all very daunting.
I have been keeping very busy (too busy) with work. I had to train three new staff this week plus my new volunteer commitment at the museum is taking up far more time and energy than anticipated. On top of that, hubby’s drifter friend is coming to live with us tonight. He is a great guy who happened to fall on bad times and was living in his van, so we opened our home and here he comes!
Sigh. Please any stories on your similar experiences greatly needed by this solo-flying gal.
posted by Baji @ Friday, January 12, 2007
14 comments
14 Comments:
Baji, my baby's heartbeat couldn't even be detected at 13 weeks. (!!!) But i had no complications, nothing was wrong. Don't worry too much.. but if you do worry, perhaps you could rent a doppler monitor from somewhere. For example: http://www.tummytickles.com/pregnancy_doppler.html
And not everyone has strong symptoms.. i mean i've heard of women who didn't even know they were pregnant until theyre 20 weeks or something. (I don't know how they wouldn't notice their period gone.. but anyway) It varies greatly. Almost everyone complains about heartburn and sleeplessness and the good ol' pickles n ice cream madness, but i had nothing of the sort. Inshallah you'll be fine. I can relate so much to your anxiety, because i also felt this way a lot of the time, but worrying excessively isn't going to help you in any way. Just relax and trust God. *hugs and many duas your way*
Your silence had me worried. If I hadnt heard back today I was going to email you. Its weird beacuse I dont know you in real life or anything but I really got so concerned about your well being.
Ill ask my friends about this who have had kids. Please dont get too stressed out. This pregnancy plus work plus guests can be a lot to handle... take bubble baths, cuddle with the spouse, eat chocolate with moderation, get sunlight, pray, get your rest, etc. Do all that you can to be as relaxed as you possibly can be despite all this. Being good to the mommy of your baby to be inshallah will lead to a healthier happier baby in 8-9 months inshallah and an easier pregnancy.
Im keeping you in my duaas.
*hugs*
what abt getting ultra-sound ?
Thank you Um Mahtab,Aisha and Mystic for your continued support! I heard from my MIL and SILs today and it made me feel much better. I really don't spend all my days worrying (too busy to), but I do feel a bit lonely and scared through this journey. I must trust in faith to guide me through peace. What will be, will be!
Thank you mystic, I heard that the dr. would have recommended it if they thought anything was wromg.
Surviving, thank you for calling!!! You're a good friend. I left afterwards for lunch, sorry.
Hmm.. tried leaving a comment before.. blogger didn't like it I guess. My first dr visit they did a quickie u/s to see the baby. I don't think the heartbeat could be heard w/ the doppler thing at the time. I also hardly had any obvious symptoms.. other than missed period which I guess is really a big symptom and of course 5 positive preg tests. :P Anyway.. check out babycenter.com. It's cool to know what's going on with the baby.. and if you don't have it already what to expect when expecting is a great book. Hope all is well.
Good luck!
Oh, that is rough having someone coming to stay with you for a little while. Let's hope he is a good guest. Good luck!
Thanks Jaycie. I guess having no symptoms is pretty normal, huh?
Kim, he is already showing signs in the negative...leaving dirty dishes around, etc. We'll see!
Salaam Sis,
I just recently found out I'm preggers,Alhamdulillah, but not after going thru weeks of worry and heartache like your own. In the first couple weeks of my missed period the blood tests kept coming back as negative. Then after finally getting a "slightly positive" result, I went for a pre-natal where, like you, they couldn't detect a heart beat. The doctor started preparing me for the possibility of a miscarriage (ie, watch for cramps, spotting, etc). It wasn't pretty, but it's a reality we have to face and trust in Allah.
Alhamdulillah finally they did detect a heart beat recently, but determined that the conception date they thought was way off, therefor everything was normal and not way behind as they first thought.
What I learned from all of this is that we as people and doctors and OB's and all that really don't know anything and have absolutely no control of anything. It's hard, but this is when that thing called iman really comes in handy, and insha'allah it's these times iman is built.
Keep us updated, you're in our du'as!
Wasalaam
(I'm posting anon. cuz I haven't told family and friends the news yet, and I really don't want them to find out thru a blog, heh)
You should read the book "Arranged Marriage" by Chitra Divakaruni. Its a book of short stories about Indian women and thier relationships, but its very applicable to situations like ours. There's a story, "Doors" that really speaks to the whole unwelcome-desi-houseguest thing. It really gave my husband and I something to talk about, and gave him a new perspective.
I was one of those 20 weeks along before I found out. I don't have regular periods, had put on weight, and was stressed, so it is possible to have almost no symptoms for awhile.
I was high risk too.... it sounds scary, but think of it this way, you will get twice the OB visits and more ultrasound pics to take home of your lovely little one. The bed rest sucks, though :). I will keep you in my dua's.
I hope you can get rid of the houseguest soon, they really end up causing extra stress you don't need right now. Either that or have your husband lay down the law and housebreak him....
another gori biwi
oh no. inshallah all is well. they really should give u an ultra sound. lots of du'as and inshallah khair khair khair.
not having symptoms isn't a worry. everyone's body reacts differently to the hormone changes. what would be a sign is that u did have major symptoms like barfing and your boobs grew bigger and suddenly these symptoms went away...like your nausea left and your boobs shrank :-) so don't worry sister. lots of du'as.
Hi welcome, BRash. Thanks for the suggestion, I'm always looking for a new read.
Anony 1, thanks for sharing your intimate details, it's tough to not know if it's me or them...
Anony 2, wow 20 weeks! Sometimes I think part of my problem, was knowing too soon (two days after missed period) It's enough to drive one crazy, overthinking such things
Thanks for you kind words luckyfatie. I felt very sick all weekend and I'm thankful ha-ha.
Salaam sweetie,
I've never been pregnant, but having seen lots of friends and family go through it I can only say: Take one day at a time.
Each mother is very different and many many issues resolve with time.
Prayers & love,
baraka
Post a Comment
<< Home