Nice to meet you Muslim, I mean M'aam

Where do I begin? I have a whole new schedule with the new job. I love the new job. I am a program director for a social service agency. The agency is much larger than I am used to working with. This has its pros and cons. The main pro is an increase in resources, which means much larger staff, budgets, money for office supplies, creamer for the coffee and support services for the participants/clients. The main cons are the constraints from government policy and bureaucracy which can mean a loss of creativity.

The office where I am located (there are many in the agency as a whole) is a crazy maze with mis-matched furnishings and complete with an amazing staff. I love the office and staff. The good thing is that my boss is in another location, so the buck stops at me so to speak. The bad thing is that I am replacing err succeeding a woman who has an amazing shadow. She has stayed in the industry, but happens to now work for the entity issuing our main grant/contract (government). I am constantly reminded that I have some big shoes to fill. I can’t help but feel a little nervous about being watched and literally monitored by her. And, all the staff has made it clear that they miss her. But, I know she has laid a great foundation which should make for an easy transition upwards.

The staffs as I said earlier are an amazingly diverse and hard-working group. I have had the positive experience of sitting down with each person and having a one-on-one meeting. The great thing about working in a social service field is that we can celebrate diversity and one’s personal accomplishments and unique experiences that they bring to the work place.

I have never been so immersed in diversity. For once I am seen as symbol of diversity as well. I am in an area that is hyper-sensitive (esp. within this social service agency) to the presence of Muslims because of the large number of East African refugees, many of whom are Muslims. I now carry my husband’s last name and people are very reactive to the new white boss-lady with a Muslim name.

Overall, everyone has shown nothing but warmth and acceptance. At times I feel a little uncomfortable for the spectacle of sorts that I have become. I’m sure my recent insecurities and fatigue as a result of adjusting to my new role compound these feelings ten-fold.

There have been a few interesting interactions. Like, the woman who questioned, “How could YOU be a Muslim?” upon just hearing my last name. Presumably, using one’s last name now gives license for one to question religiosity and one’s appearance (i.e. Gora without hijab) also defines one’s relationship to God. Here, I just smiled and swallowed hard, trying to wipe the redness from my cheeks.

In another incident, I was sitting in around a crammed board-room table for a work-related meeting. Before the meeting starts, the facilitator introduces me as the newcomer to the agency. Upon hearing my name, the gentleman next to me (presumably Muslim because his name was “Muhammad”), says, in a very loud voice for all to hear, “Oh! I didn’t know you were Muslim!” He proceeds to pull his chair away from the desk as to be sure not to touch me. Am I plagued? Should he be touching non-Muslim women?

It is all amusing to me because I have always assumed the role as dedicated, hard-working, passionate, but quiet woman. And, now I feel like I am being thrust into a more extroverted role, shouting look at me! God works in mysterious ways.