The Beginning

I was born in white suburbia, "Wonder Bread Country". My childhood was that of a middle class blue collar family. We had our issues with alcoholism and mental illness, which definitely helped shape the person I am now.

I would spend my summers riding my bike to the local pool proudly baking in the sun. By the end of the summer, my bronze skin could win me a prize at a coppertone commercial try-out. In the evenings, the kids would play hide and seek; running through the safe suburban blocks. Eventually, the boys began to discover that they did indeed like girls and we were flattered and at their mercy.

The girls would get together and play house with dolls and barbies. I was a kid of the eighties and the names I chose were of popular teen sitcom characters. I liked Sam and Jo for the girls and Corey for the boys. Sometimes I would select a boy's name to depict my crush of the month. I would pretend to be Chinese or Indian, because I thought that those women were so colorful, graceful and beautiful. I would wrap a pretty sheet as a kimono or put a red dot on my forehead as a symbol of marriage.

I started dating boys in middle school and my mom was okay with that. She recently told me that was her way of spoiling me. She felt guilty that my father was dead and she wanted me to be happy and to get married off. But, for some reason, I never imagined that I would marry my highschool or college boyfriend. I had bigger ambitions, and I was not going to marry out of highschool and have two point five children living in the Wonder Bread box.

I went on to college. The first college I went to was an urban business school and for the first time ever, I was a minority. The experience was both scary and exciting. After my freshman year, I transferred to a state school. For the first time in my life, I was exposed to different cultures. I was very intigued and sought out new culturally-based experiences. During my junior year, I was one of ten people selected to go on a "non-denominatinal" ministry trip to Puerto Rico. This was my first experience out of the country. I loved it! I had a roomate from Japan during my senior year and the year following.

After grad school, I was visiting my best friend (since highschool). Her neighbor was over. He sat very quietly in the corner. I really did not pay any attention to him that night. I thought he was a little odd because he was so quiet. She said he was from Pakistan. I honeslty didn't know mush about that country and just overlooked the whole evening. But then, each time I was there visiting, so was N. He began to talk more and I was fascinated by his intelligence, charm and of course the accent!

The three of us rushed to one another the day of September 11, 2001. We sat in my friend's apartment glued to the t.v. We were shocked. We discussed the tragedy and politics and human emotions for hours upon hours. We were suppoting N as he waited for a phone call. His parents had flown into Washington DC that day and he still had not heard from them.

The next day, I called him to offer support and see how he was doing. That was the first time that we had interacted outside of my friend's apartment. He began calling me every day. For most people, Septemeber 11 is only a day of national tragedy., For me, it was the day I began to fall in love with my husband and to see a whole new world. Our relationship was pretty much secret for a few months.

I decided that I would introduce him to my Mom as a friend first. I didn't want any of the biases to exist prior to meeting him. The day after she met him, she said "I love that one friend of yours...." She fell for him, too. He reminded her of her highschool sweetheart.

My mom is first generation Italian, so she fell for his dark eyes and hair and olive skin. His "old world" charm was reminiscent of my Mom's past. As she and all of her peers had pareants that were "Fresh of the Boat" (FOBs) or "With Out Papers" (WOPs). My mom and my brother knew that we were dating, but his family did not.

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