Back to the Wedding Story

So I was running around like a mad woman trying to make our home presentable. I was so scared to meet his father and to have his parents staying in our home. I bought new clothes and a new bedspread for the bedroom, etc. Over and over I practiced saying “A salaam Uailekum”.

My dh’s cousin came with us to the airport. The two of them ran off and left me hanging. So I ended up spotting my in-laws first. We shared our greetings. We lugged the bags to the car and headed home. True to fashion, it was my dear MIL that helped the conversation to move forward.

Once in the home, we were bombarded with gifts, pictures and stories. There was not a moment for us to feel awkward. My MIL and SILs had some joras and shalwar kameez stitched for me and the in-laws insisted that I try everything on at once.

My FIL stole my heart. He is so generous, intelligent, passionate, open minded, and complimentary. He is a wonderful teacher a fearless leader, a gentleman’s man, a guiding father and a soft-hearted grand father.

Well, I can’t forget my MIL can I? My MIL is one of the most beautiful people I have ever met. She is kind, intelligent, soft-spoken, open minded, and artistic. She is a dreamer, an artist, a natural environmentalist, an easy going friend and sister; she is compassionate, worldly, spiritual and the queen matriarch.

My hubby is so much both his Ammi and Abbu. He is awesome, they are awesome. I am a very lucky girl. So much, so, I often wonder how I ended up with such a lovely family.

They met with my Mom who had just recovered from a major surgery. Everyone tried their best to understand one another and accept that we were newlyweds.

I think that one of the things that made it easier, was that N’s cousin was slated to get married while the in-laws were there. Their wedding was also “rushed” if you will b/c of immigration issues. Fortunately, her parents were able to be there, but his parents were not (they have yet to meet her). My in-laws are very close to his parents and were asked to represent them at their ceremony.

So off to another state we traveled for the wedding. Once we arrived to the bride’s apartment (a lovely woman that was the first to give me a wedding gift-I love her dearly), everything became very chaotic.

Everyone was speaking urdu and there were a million people crammed in one apartment. The wedding was slated for the next day. I know they were talking about me. I was unclear as to what was said about our marriage. I was obviously introduced as the wife, but I’m still not sure about the context. My hubby was out of the picture for most of the trip.

The nikkah was beautiful. My MIL took care to explain what was going on. The reception was nice, too. My SIL and her family came in from PK the day of the ceremony. The children were exhausted. My SIL asked me to hold her baby. That was my comfort the whole night and everyone thought he was mine LOL

The next day, we were having dinner at the apartment. I walked into the kitchen to help the ladies. They started speaking English and were talking about how awful it is that these Pakistani men are dating “gori” women. I was very hurt by this especially because my SIL and the new bride were part of the conversation. I just continued to wash dishes and wished I were somwhere else.

Once dinner was served, I was invited to sit down at the table. Having been brought up with manners, I declined the offer and counter-offered it to the man who was offering because he was an elder and there was limited seating. He insisted, so I sat down thinking that this was acceptable because I was a new bride. The room went silent and everyone looked shocked. Who did this white woman think she was sitting at the table!? I think that man set me up because he stood there with a smirk on his face.

The next day we were in the car after having had another dinner where I was silent because everyone was speaking urdu and staring at me. I broke down. I couldn’t hold it in any more. How embarrassing.

Once my hubby and my in-laws returned home, things were much better. We started to plan for their return, so that we could have our ceremony.